One of the toughest things to do is to listen to people you don’t respect and it is even tougher when they give parenting advice. Here are some tips on how to deal with that.
I have 2 sons and 2 daughters and I can tell you there are some very huge differences between them. There are also a lot of similarities between them. In this podcast I discuss my observations.
Links: What To Expect Magazine: 8 differences between boys and girls
On this episode I discuss the balance of work, wife and kids. A difficult thing to balance.
By Honoré Daumier – National Gallery of Art, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=11497763
One of the toughest issues that parents run across is the issue of punishment. How do you punish your child for their misbehaviour. There are many ways to punish your child everything from timeout, spanking, taking away privileges adding new chores. Also why do you punish your kid and what do you punish them for. Some people only punish for lying or deliberate disobedience, others are far more liberal. This is a complicated subject because as a parent you want your children to be well behaved and to obey you. The worst thing that any would want to do to their kids is to produce the wrong results.
One of the toughest punishments for parents to implement is spanking. In some countries it is outright banned. In the US it is legal, however areas of the country heavily frown on it. In the community I grew up in it was the norm, “the expression spoil the rod, spoil the child” was a common adage. Most of the kids I grew up with were spanked. In fact one would be hard pressed to find some on who wasn’t.
In order to find out more about this subject I began to conduct some research on the subject of spanking and how effective it was. Are children who are spanked better behaved then ones who are not? Are they better behaved adults? Here are some of the responses I received.
“I believe that once kids are old enough to understand the reasons you give them then spanking is no longer appropriate. I never spanked a child over the age of about 2.”
“But only using smacking can lead to thinking violence is ok. It doesn’t explain what they did wrong. And they may think that is how to punish people (both friends and their children). “
“I spanked my kids when they did wrong but only on the things that i thought were something serious every parent should have certain things that they deem serious and yes when i spanked them they knew it was dad then again that was my role as the parent to be the disciplinarian while my wife was the consoler and it worked my kids never acted up in public never talked back and never lost respect for us. Both my kids are grown and have kids of there own and my son as funny as it sounds calls me daddy still not dad so i think we did okay. “
“We turned out pretty bad due to both spanking and serious neglect. Spanking has nothing to do with HELPING a child behave better and everything to do with PLEASING the Spanker. But everyone knows that already! “
“Con: It teaches them that violence is okay
Con: It teaches them to blindly follow authority, without actually giving them an understanding of why what they do it wrong
Pro: It’s a quick fix if you’re too lazy to raise children properly
Con: It’s abuse “
“You shouldnt spank children under 7. They wont understand what they did wrong and will do it again. I was spanked as a kid and im okay but when my cousin was a kid, she never was spanked for doing the terrible things she did and she stayed bratty for years. “
As one can see the opinions on spanking really span the spectrum. There is a lot of fear that it would turn into abuse or that it teaches children that violent reactions are okay. I am still looking more and more into this subject and would love to have more input from others in order to really come to a conclusion of its effects. I would love to hear from parents who spanked and did not spank and tell me how their kids are today. What are you thoughts?
Sources: Pros and Cons of Spanking. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140821191928AAI8RSW